serendipity and me

oyea…nigai amai…bitter sweet…what an oxymoron…haha…=p

nwei…I just created an lj account…hopefully, i’ll be able to update that as often as I can…well…I’m not really into blogging…honestly…this blog, my friendster blog, is my most updated blog…mayb because no one really bothered to read entries in friendster blogs…coz well…it’s…how do I put it…backwards in some way…and well…it’s also boring in some ways…

anyway…I’m created an lj account because I want a blog where I can put my fics where some people would actually read them…not that nobody reads them in fanfiction.net…but well…there’s too much competition there…and the more intersting fics are on lj…^_^

also…I was into aiba hiroki a few whiles ago…and I still am now…dunno…I just love the guy soooooo much!!…honestly, I really really really want to meet him…I’m just soooo into him…I don’t care whether he has a girlfriend or if he’s engaged (but I do hope he’s not…though…) I just want to meet him…and if possible, be friends with him…I want to touch and comb his hair…it’s soooooo adorable…well…everything about him is…haha…=p

and I watched one of his (aiba’s) movies this afternoon…ad he’s sooo kawaii!! he really looks adorable and hoooooot!! (even if he acts like a gay…) I envy his feminine features…I wish I could be as beautiful as he is…T.T

I realized awhile ago that I’m smitten by the guy…I think i love him…not love in the sense that I want to marry him and have kids(though I might consider it, if it’s possible…come on…who couold resist his smile, moves and eyes?!!)…but love in a "fan girl way"…

I’m also planning to write three oneshot fanfics for three different anime…I haven’t started yet because of time constraints…but hopefully I’d be able to start on one next week…

I just finished my first ever fan fiction…When Earth Meets Heaven…if you want…you can try checking it out…click on the title…that’ll take you to the story…and please do review if ever you read it…

arigato gozaimasu!!

nan do mo shita yubi kiri osoroi no sezu futari no negai wa hakanaku kieru

without fulfilling the oath we made to each other, our wishes fade away in vain…

Top Ten Rules for Selecting a College or University

1. Never make your final college selection without visiting at least your top two or three choices. No matter how well you think you know a college or university, you can learn a lot (good or bad) by spending a few hours on campus, including whether or not the college feels like a good "fit" for you. Having family members accompany you on college visits is a great idea because it gives you extra "eyes and ears" and people with whom you can discuss your impressions.

2. There are no exceptions to rule #1.

3. A college is not necessarily right for you because its name is familiar. That might seem pretty obvious, but you wouldn’t believe how many students equate educational quality with name recognition.

4. Investigate at least three or four colleges you know little or nothing about but offer the field(s) of study of interest to you, are appropriately selective for a students with your grades and SAT or ACT scores, and are located in geographic areas attractive to you. You have nothing to lose and you might make a great discovery. A little research and an open mind can greatly increase the odds that you make a good college choice.

5. There are very few worse reasons to select a college than because your friends are going there. Choosing a college because your girlfriend or boyfriend is headed there is one of them. In fact, if there is a worse reason to choose a college, it escapes us.

6. Investigate, investigate, investigate, and be sure to separate reality from (often baseless) opinions. Lots of folks will refer to a college as "good", "hard to get into", "a party school", "too expensive", etc. without really knowing the facts. Don’t accept these kinds of generalizations without evidence.

7. Do not rule out colleges early because of cost. Many colleges offer scholarships, financial aid, and tuition installment plans that make them far more affordable than they may first appear. You can’t/won’t know how much it will cost to attend a college until the very end of the process.

8. Deadlines, whether for college applications, SAT or ACT registration, financial aid, scholarships, campus housing, etc. are not suggestions. Miss a deadline and you may find yourself in deep you-know-what. Write down on a calendar and adhere strictly to all deadlines.

9. Don’t be afraid to apply to a few "reach schools". You might be pleasantly surprised by the results if you are not entirely unrealistic. Then, apply to at least three colleges you like which are highly likely to admit you. Remember, choose these three colleges very carefully as they are the places where you are mostly likely to wind up. Finally, choose at least two "safety" colleges. Colleges to which you are virtually certain you will be admitted. Choosing "safety" schools they don’t really like is a mistake many students make. If you take the time to choose safety schools you would be happy to attend, you’ll eliminate all the anxiety some students experience in the college application and admissions process.

10. When it is time to make your final choice, discuss your options with your family, your counselor (if you have one), and others who know you well and whose judgment you value. If you have a tough time choosing among two or more colleges or universities it is probably because you have done a good job putting together your list and you will be happy at whichever institution you choose. Once you make your choice, don’t agonize over it. If you have followed these rules there is an excellent chance your final college choice will be a good one.

American Educational Guidance Center.  "Top Ten Rules for Selecting a College or University" College Scholarships, Colleges, and Online Degrees.  2007.  http://www.college-scholarships.com/ten_rules_for_selecting_a_college_or_universities.htm (13 May 2007)

gah…never thought applying for college is this stressful…what more when you actually take the test to get into one and actually get into college…that’s why high school’s the best part…as always…T_T

hai…kakapagod tlga…ngaun nlan ako ule natigil sa bahay…=p haha…=p

icipin nyo a…last last week galing ako sa isang resort/beach camp sa dulo nasugbu,batangas…nag-improptu overnight…come on!!..nalaman ko lang nung mismong day na aalis…edi nagmadali si giecel…haha…=p

tapos…nung mga bandang third week namn ng april…tumambay naman sa tagaytay…haha…=p

tapos…last weekend dumayo ule ng tagaytay…this time…nakarating nako ng alfonso at kung sang-sang parte pa ng cavite…haha…=p

tas nung may1 naman…nagpunta kame ng baguio…tas kahapon lang kame umuwe…grabe..kakapagod…dumaan pa kame ng our lady of manaoag bago kame tuluyang umuwi..=p

tas kanina…wala pa ngang 24-hours na nasa bahay…pumunta naman ng laguna para mag-swimming!!…san ka pa!!…haha…=p

pero it’s worth it naman e…xe sanay naman na ako maging "nomad mode" pag bakasyon e…haha…=p tas xmpre…masarap din mag-"sight seeing"…haha…=p

aun…cge…dito nlan muna…pahinga muna..ciao…^_^

You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol

You could be happy and I won’t know
But you weren’t happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops ’till it’s madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
Not our last days of silent screaming blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I’d been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it’s all not true

Just do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don’t think, just do

More than anything I want to see you grow
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

We’ll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don’t need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don’t quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They’re not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

Let’s waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
to remind me
to find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see

I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

You’re All I Have by Snow Patrol

Strain this chaos turn it into light,
I’ve gotta see you one last night,
Before the lions take their share,
Leave us in pieces, scattered everywhere,

Just give me a chance to hold on,
Give me a chance to hold on,
Give me a chance to hold on,
Just give me something to hold onto,

It’s so clear now that you are all that I have,
I have no fear cause you are all that I have,
It’s so clear now that you are all that I have,
I have no fear cause you are all that I have,

You’re cinematic razor sharp,
A welcome arrow through the heart,
Under your skin feels like home,
Electric shocks on aching bones,

Give me a chance to hold on,
Give me a chance to hold on,
Give me a chance to hold on,
Just give me something to hold onto,

It’s so clear now that you are all that I have,
I have no fear cause you are all that I have,
It’s so clear now that you are all that I have,
I have no fear cause you are all that I have,

There is a darkness deep in you,
A frightning magic I cling to,

Give me a chance to hold on,
Give me a chance to hold on,
Give me a chance to hold on,
Just give me something hold on to,

It’s so clear now that you are all that I have,
I have no fear now you are all that I have,
It’s so clear now that you are all that I have,
I have no fear now you are all that I have.

hai…natapos na ang year…grabe…

andaming nangyari…as in…anjan ung…

• i had a failing card grade…for the first time…
• i trusted…but was failed…
• i cried…a lot…
• i laughed…a lot…
• i appreciated my friends more…especially my roommates…awww…
• things were stolen from me…my god!!…
• i learned to stand up for myself…
• i learned to smile…a real smile…
• i learned to give…with nothing in return…
• i learned to love…and sacrifice…i guess…
• i learned to give time…and space…
• i gave up some of my time…and not regret it…
• i learned to let go of the past…but never forget it…
• i learned to hurt others…sorry…
• i went to a prom…a real one…
• i wore a…dress…>.<
• we won the intramurals…yay!!…

and loads of other stuff…pero there is an event na never kong makakalimutan…and i’m pretty sure it happened a lot of times before…but i was not this satisfied with it before…

• i met new and regained old friends…loads of them…^_^

pero ndi ko ni-reregret un…kasi ewan…everything was worth it…i guess…mahaba-habang kwentuhan pala to noh…mmmm…cge…update naten ung buhay ko…^_^

Bituin

Lumalalim na pala ang gabi…

‘di ko man lang namalayan.

Tumingin ka sa langit…

at makikita mo…

nariyan na naman ang mga bituin.

Napakaganda nila ano?

Kumukutitap…

maliwanag…

parang…

nakakagaan ng pakiramdam.

Napakasaya.

Oo, saya.

Iyon nga ang dinadala nila sa mga tao.

Nagbibigay sila ng pag-asa…

binubuhay nila ang mga pangarap…

pero…sa’kin kaya?

Ano kaya ang dala ng mga bituin sa’kin?

Tuwa?

Hindi siguro.

Ay,

mali

pala!

Hindi talaga.

Pinapaalala lang kasi nila yung mga panahon na…

masaya pa…ako…

Oo…

ako.

Ako lang…

wala nang iba pa.

Tama…

ako lang talaga.

Ako lang naman ‘yung sumaya noong panahon na ‘yon.

Alam ko naman kasi…

kaya ka lang pumayag na mahalin ako…

dahil naaawa ka.

Awa.

Naiinis ako sa awa.

Naiinis ako kapag may naaawa sa akin.

Pakiramdam ko kasi…

parang napakahina ko…

kahit na alam kong hindi naman talaga.

Naiinis nga ako…

kasi…

yun na nga yung dahilan…kung bakit napilitan kang maging akin.

Nagulat ka ano?

Iniisip mo siguro kung paano ko nalaman.

Simple lang naman kung paano…

dahil sa awa rin.

Oo, awa…

dahil awa rin ang nagtulak sa iba na sabihin sa akin ang totoo.

At awa rin sa sarili ang nagtulak sa akin na paniwalaan ang iba.

Sabi nga nila…

“Kung mahal mo ang isang tao…

pakawalan mo siya…

at kung bumalik man siya sa iyo…

para talaga kayo sa isa’t isa…”

Pero bakit ganoon?

Pinakawalan kita…kasi…akala ko…

akala…ko…

akala ko…babalik ka.

Hindi pala.

Mali

pala ang akala ko.

At ‘dun ko rin napansin…

ang saya sa mga mata mo…

masaya ka na…

masaya ka na…

masaya ka na nga talaga…

masaya ka na nga…sa piling ng iba…

Alam mo ba kung gaano kasakit sa’kin iyon?

Alam mo ba kung anong panganib ang dinulot ‘nun sa buhay ko?

Oo, nagtangka akong pumatay.

Tinangka kong patayin…ang sarili ko.

Nagulat ka ba?

Hindi lang ‘dun nagtatapos ‘yun.

Alam mo ba kung gaano karaming panunukso’ng dumating sa’kin?

Hindi rin ano?

Oo…

Kahihiyan…Panunukso…

Panlalait…ng mga tao.

Maniniwala ka ba na sinabihan nila…

ako…

wala raw…

wala raw akong kwenta magmahal.

Hindi raw ako marunong manindigan…

Walang isip…’yun na ang sinabi nila sa’kin.

Pero…

balewala ang lahat ng ‘yun sa akin.

Balewala ‘yang panlalait…

Panganib…

Kahihiyan…

Tukso…

at higit sa lahat…

‘yung sakit na naramdaman ko.

Kaya kong pasanin lahat ng iyan.

Ang gusto ko lang naman mangyari…

ay ‘yung makita kang…

Masaya…

ay ‘yung ang makita kang…

Nakangiti.

Kahit na…

kapiling ka na ng iba.

Sana

lang…

tama ang naging desisyon ko na pakawalan ka.

Kasi alam ko…

na sa ganoong paraan ka lang…

magiging…

Masaya.

Sorry…

“Makita kaya nila?

Malaman kaya nila?

Huwag naman

sana

…”

Hayaan naman ninyo

na isalaysay ko

ang isang pangyayari sa aking buhay

na nagdulot ng lahat ng aking problema.

“O, bakit ka umiiyak?

May problema ba?

Tahan na…”

Gusto ko sanang ipaabot sa iyo,

“Mahal na mahal kita.

Wala nang iba pa.

Pangako, ikaw lang…”

“Siya na naman ba?

Tahan na…Kalimutan mo na siya…

Matagal na kayong hiwalay…”

Akala ba ninyo madaling makalimot?

Limang taon.

Limang taon ko siyang pinagsilbihan,

Pero sa ganito lang pala mauuwi ang lahat.

“Marami namang iba riyan.

Isipin mo na lang…

                   Panaginip lang…Panaginip lang ang lahat ng nangyari sa inyo…”

Oo, panaginip.

Para

nga’ng panaginip ang lahat ng ‘yon.

Akala ko’y walang katapusan.

Akala ko’y perpekto.

“Maaari ka bang makausap?

Pwede ba ‘yung tayong dalawa lang?

May sassabihin kasi ako e…”

Hindi mo alam kung gaano ako kasaya noong sinabi mong mahal mo ako..

Hindi mo alam kung gaanong gumaan ang aking pakiramdam.

Para

bang nawala lahat ng aking mga problema.

Parang tumigil ang oras.

“Happy 5^th anniversary!

Here’s my gift for you baby!

Sana

…magtagal pa tayo…”

Akala ko’y matutupad ang sinabi mo.

Hindi pala.

Totoo nga ang kasabihan…

“Marami ang namamatay sa maling akala…”

“Sorry, but it looks like we won’t see each other again.

Aalis na kasi ang pamilya namin for Canada, at, well, ipakakasal na nila ako doon.

I’m really sorry…”

Sorry…

‘Yun na ang huli kong narinig sa’yo.

At mukhang ‘yun na lang din ang huling maririnig mo sa’kin

‘Yun ay…kung maririnig mo nga…”Sorry…”

“Anak!  Gumising ka!

Bakit mo naman ginawa ‘to!

Bakit!…Bakit ka nagpakamatay!…”

Mahabang istorya…

Pero, huli na…huli na ang lahat…hindi ko na makukwento sa’yo…

“Sorry…” ‘yun na lang ang masasabi ko…

Sorry…

mygawd!….nakakalungkot tong day na to…

ampft!!!…im supposed to be doin my eng essay right now…pero parang nwalan ako ng gana….

cguro dahil sa nbasa ko…

ampfupfu…

argh…

nbasa ko ung blog ni esha…she’s in the US na…pero she misses pisay a lot…tas naalala ko ung mga times na naglolokohan kame…gaguhan and stuff….tas nakakamiss…

naalala ko tuloy c PJ…my best best friend in Pisay!!!…

ampffft!!!…..i miss you bestfriend coh!!!….

owell…gusto ko umiyak…nanaman…pero dko mgawa…ambigat tuloy ng pakiramdam ko..like there’s something stuck inside me….forcing me to just…i dunno….reminisce stuff…

gah…nkakamiss….

tas na-realize ko lang…..after ng pisay…im gonna go to NZ..and like…live there permanently….what if…

what if…

what…

if…just what if…

gah!…naiiyak ako…xe alam kong ndi xa "what if"….talagang mangyayari saken ung naxxperience ni esha ngaun…

nkakaloko…

nkakabaliw…

yep…i know for a fact na after kong mag-pisay….it’s goodbye philippines na….goodbye friends naren cguro…and it’s like 16months before i say goodbye to all those people that i cherish..

or is it really goodbye….i dunno….

cguro…like kesh…i’ll be longing for that time na babalik ako ng philippines after i go to my new "home"….well…i can never really call NZ a "home" kc i’ll never feel a true "home" there…philippines is my home….and it can never be replaced….

plan ko nga dito ako maghold ng debut sa philippines e…(whch means im gonna go back after about 2years…yay!!…)…ayoko dun….andito ung mga taong mahal ko…

and most especially….

andito ung mga treasured moments ko…

kayanin ko kaya na lumayo dito?!….i mean…..pisay’s like my second place-to-be here on earth….my house being the first….

can i bear the sight of leaving everything i treasure here?….

i don’t think so….

owell….that’s life….and it’s somewhat harsh….

gahd!!!…im gonna miss y’all…..=’(